| | I'm 40 now, 41 on July 22nd. Four kids, the oldest 16 and the youngest 5. I rarely blog about my family because there is too much that is personal, so I mostly stick to topics of what I think about. Speaking of a topic.....
I like to wail to porn on the internet. My wife is Catholic and abstinence is the best form of birth control, both of us agreeing 4 kids are enough. She's cool with me satisfying myself, so am I, so I take care of business myself in the off season. My sex drive is HUGE, and hers is *I don't want to get pregnant again*, so what we have works for us. WE are very careful not to get her pregnant again. Xvideos.com, Pornzapp.com, and Frostwire is all a man needs to fufill his desires, so sets the status quo. I have potent sperm, condoms are out of the question, and c'est la vie.
I like to wail to porn on the internet, and catch it in a bunch of toilet paper that goes on the toilet afterwards. Usually in the morning when the wood is the hardest, before my shower, and after she has left for work. She wakes up way before I do, and my job is to get the 5 year old to daycare before I have to be to work at 9 , and she picks him up after she gets off work, which means she gets off work way before I do. De facto ritual for years now.
The 14th of this month, I was wailing in the morning, nothing out of the ordinary, but when I came my stuff was pink. Freaked me out.
I told her about it that evening, my hematospermia, and we had a long discussion about how I needed to go to a doctor. I hadn't been to a doctor in years, and I was scared enough to find one on my health insurance in my area, and I made an appointment.
My appointment was on the 18th, and it did not go very well. The nurse took my blood pressure, freaked out, took another reading, got an automatic machine, freaked some more, and got the head nurse. She took my reading, and panicked as well. They hooked me to a machine, then hooked me to an EKG machine, got readings, and the doctor when he got in bitched me out about my high blood pressure in a nice way. He wrote me a script for Atenolol. I've been on it for a week, and have another appointment for this Friday. My readings were way high, unregulated for years, enough to snap me back to reality.
Oh, I am not a dummy. I have a machine that runs on 6 AA batteries that checks BP, and displays systolic and dystolic pressure, as well as heart rate. I did my research online, and KNEW I had HPB. It wasn't until my stuff came out pink that I was REALLY worried. I've wailed the dude since I was 11, and never has it been pink. That scares the shit out of you. I won't tell you my numbers because you would freak as well.
This left me afraid to wail anymore. I waited a day, then got another pink sample. This was still before my doctors appointment on the 18th, and four days from the original pink sample it was white with a few specks of maroon. Before I had my appointment it was clear again, but my apprehension was now in place and I told the doctor everything.
I researched online, and found my own answers, but needed a doctor to get the meds to lower my BP. He says the two were unrelated, that I was wailing too hard and prolly broke a blood vessel. I say the HBP helped to rupture the blood vessel, which caused the blood in my semen. I wailed this morning, and it was NORMAL white, yet I am apprehensive that my stuff could be pink again at anytime.
Nah.
I'm on meds now.
One side effect he told me about was the inability to get an erection, as the meds lowers my heart rate and I may not be able to get a woody, and if so, let him know and he'll give me some thing to fix that. Yeah right, I still get morning wood every day. No problem wailing for me.
HOWEVER. One side-effect I noticed in the paperwork was unusual dreams. OMG, that has been so true for me. I'll have to tell him about that this Friday. I have 3-5 dreams per night, vivid lucid dreams, stark reality. Wyrd dreams.
One dream my wife committed suicide, left notes, but we couldn't find her body, and I found her mummified corpse 6 months later, a real wake-you-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-in-a-cold-sweat-thriller, complete with real FBI agents handling the case. Another was how I had a time machine, traveled back in time to meet my biological mother when she was young, had sex with her, and became the father of her child which would turn out to be me. That is a paradox, a violation of physics, and very disturbing, because my mom was actually pretty hot when she was young, even though I have never seen ANY pics of her when she was young. WE were estranged when I was 3, and I have no memory of her, so all these dreams are figments of my imagination. Another dream left me contemplating how to plant the fields of a huge plantation that I was in charge of, with me riding a huge tractor, a green John Deere, and dictating orders to others that listened with what I have to say. Another had me working on race cars, in a pit crew, and cars would come in as in a Nascar race needing fixed, and we'd fix them and they'd zoom back out. What's wyrd of all is that I could smell the smells and see the colors, as if the meds enchance lucid dreams. There are several other dreams, all lucid, all in color with odors and realities intertwined, and I'm left to dwell on the impressions I feel after the fact.
I'd write in a dream journal when I wake up at night, at least 3-5 times after a lucid dream, but I feel these dreams are medication related, and I want to ask my doctor first. I wake up every 2-3 hours, another dream experienced. Wyrd.
Peace.
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| | Posted 3/23/2009 10:22 PM - 157 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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